How to Handle a Break Up with Grace

Step 1: Acknowledge Your Feelings

When you're going through a breakup, it's important to acknowledge your feelings and allow yourself to feel them. Don't ignore or suppress your emotions; instead, validate them by allowing yourself to experience them fully. This will help prevent unhealthy coping mechanisms like getting absolutely wasted on a television show and jumping into a pool with a stranger… hypothetically. 

Also remember that you don't have to keep your feelings bottled up inside--it's okay if you want someone else (or even just yourself.. Hello Jane’s Journal) who understands what you're going through! So talk to your friends! 

Step 2: Set Boundaries

Decide what type of communication you are comfortable with and stick to it. If your ex wants to talk, don’t be scared to tell them no or to set firm boundaries like only communicating through email or text message ...or a big light up globe that goes off every time they hook up with someone else…ya know hypothetically… 

It's important not only to set boundaries with the other person, but also yourself! Remember who you are, your values, and who you want to be. This can really help to keep you from going down a path of bad choices or falling into unhealthy habits. 

Step 3: Focus on Self-Care, Not Self Blame

After a breakup, it can be tempting to focus all of your energy on your ex. You may find yourself wondering what they're doing and why they did what they did. While it's important to understand what led up to the break-up, if you spend too much time focusing on them, you run the risk of neglecting yourself and your own needs.

Try not to get caught up in self-blame or negative thoughts about yourself or others involved in your relationship. Instead of dwelling on how things could have been different had X not happened (or whatever else), focus instead on how things are now and what steps need taken next for both parties involved - including yourself!

You should also make sure that while dealing with this difficult time in life that you are taking care of yourself physically as well as mentally; making sure that eating well, moving your body, getting enough sleep, staying hydrated (no, bubbles don’t count Dani D!), journaling, meditating etc…. Afterall, once you get over your break up you are going to be moving into your Sexy Independent Woman phase and you need to be in a good place to do that right.

Step 4: Avoid Rebounding

(Easier said than done!) Avoiding rebound relationships is a good idea. It's tempting to want to get back into the dating scene as soon as possible, especially if you are living in a house with 8 single guys whose sole purpose is to tempt you into a relationship! But you'll be better off if you take some time and focus on yourself first. If you're not emotionally ready for another relationship yet, it can lead to more heartache down the road when things don't work out with your new partner.

Step 5: Learn from the Experience

It's important to reflect on the experience and identify areas of growth. You can use this time to make positive changes in your life, such as learning how to communicate better or becoming more assertive.

Step 6: Give Yourself Time to Heal

It's important to allow yourself the time and space needed to heal after a breakup. Be patient with yourself and focus on the positive aspects of your life, like friends, family, and the things you love about yourself and your life!
Focus on activities that bring joy into your life! So often we forget little pieces of ourselves when we get into relationships, remember the things you used to love and do them again! These could be anything from reading books or listening to music, to going for walks outside, playing with pets, spending time with friends, baking cookies, doing make-up tutorials...the list goes on! Just make sure whatever activity interests YOU most! 

Step 7: Stay Connected to Your Support System

Reach out to your friends and family for support and lean on the people around you! Build a strong network of people who care about you, and don't be afraid to lean on them during difficult times. The best thing that came out of my experience on Temptation Island is some amazing friendships! These girls were there for all the tears and all the drama, and were truly there for me.

Step 8: Focus on the Future

It's important to remind yourself of all the possibilities ahead. You're not defined by your relationship, and you have a lot more going on in your life than just this one person. Take some time to focus on your goals and dreams--they will help keep you grounded during this difficult time.

Focus on Your Goals and Dreams: As much as it hurts right now, try not to let this breakup define who you are or who you want to become in the future. Think about what makes up an amazing life for YOU: Is it traveling? Working at an animal shelter? Writing poetry? Whatever it is, don't let anyone take away those dreams from you!